The Katy Perry Shatter Swatches

I know I promised these some time ago, but I've had some trouble getting a really good shot of the polish.  I ended up doing swatches on a nail art wheel so they'd turn out better.  I'm just going to go ahead and say it: the shatter polish is neat, but I'm having trouble getting into it.  I thought I was going to like it a lot more, but after doing a manicure with it, it's just a meh.  I wore OPI's Glitzerland underneath the Shatter, and half the people who noticed my nails thought it was chipping, with a quarter not liking it, and the other quarter liking it. 

From left to right: Not Like The Movies, Teenage Dream, Last Friday Night, The One That Got Away

Something I noticed about the Shatter polish is that it would give different effects on different types of polishes.  On the two glittery polishes in the middle, it gave a more fully shattered appearance, while on the shimmers it looked more like streaks.  Over a creme polish the Shatter gives that same "streaky" effect. 

From Left To Right: Purple Rain, Versailles, Orgasm, and Jungle Red.
The Precious Mini Polish set is $30 and available here

Around the same time I was wringing my hands over buying the Deborah Lippmann Layer Cake set, this Nars mini set was also available.  For some reason, I kept putting off buying this set until about a month ago.  I felt I had most of the colors already, when it turns out I actually didn't, including two polishes I thought were very close to Purple Rain.  When applying the shatter, these streaked instead of shattered.  I'm meh on most of them with the shatter, but I love the Shatter with the Jungle Red, it just looks so sexy to me. 

Serena Williams for OPI Simply Smashing!

This is the Serena Williams Chartreuse/lime green/greenish-yellow polish that came in a set with the Shatter polish.  I'm currently wearing the Simply Smashing! on my toes right now, and I really dig it.  As you can see, this one streaked instead of shattered. 

I also tried the Shatter on Chanel's Black Pearl, but you can't tell from the photos.  It's pretty unremarkable. 

In May, OPI is releasing additional colors of Shatter in silver, navy blue, red, and turquoise.  Since I'm not really impressed with the black Shatter, I really don't plan on purchasing any more colors of it. 

Going on Vacation is Such Hard Work

In about a week from now, I will be heading on vacation for ten glorious days.  Next Saturday will be spent packaging--hopefully not at the last minute--and then Sunday morning I'm going to hop on the train and head to Washington D.C.  Yes, I know Washington D.C. isn't the most glamorous of vacay spots but tons of my friends moved there after college, so it'll be like a Class of '07 reunion.  Unfortunately, they all have to work during the day, but that's okay.  There's tons of gardens for me to look at, plus I haven't done anything like tour the monuments since I was in middle school.  So, it promises to be a fun trip.

I do take the train, because I'm terrified of airplanes (well, not so much airplanes as heights).  I also don't want to drive because even at my hotel's parking garage, it's a whopping $30 to park my car PER DAY.  The train, round trip, cost me around $120, and once I'm in town the public transportation is amazing.  So by taking the train (the cheapest flight--even into Baltimore--was right under $300) I'm saving money.  Supposedly.

I've been thinking for at least the past month or so about what I'm going to wear.  I don't want to be that tourist wearing clunky Sketchers, denim capris, and a tie-dyed "I Heart DC" tshirt picked up at a souvenir shop in Union Station.  Since I've been saving money, I really didn't want to buy anything beforehand because I plan to do some shopping there.  I lied to myself.  A few weeks ago, a bunch of blogs began featuring orange purses, as orange is one of the hot colors for this spring/summer.  I can't remember which blog it was from (maybe Refinery 29?) where I saw this baby:

Orange Melie Bianco Satchel, $99, backordered until 4/30

I love satchels, and I love orange (it was my signature color in high school), and under $100?  I tried in vain to find this purse.  I called I think roughly 7-8 stores across the country, and talked with the Melie Bianco company and still couldn't find it.  I decided to try to find another orange purse, which is fairly hard.  I looked online, everything was too expensive, and what I could find in stores was basically limited to Fossil, and I'm not a huge fan of their faux retro prints.  In a search for luggage, I ended up at Marshall's in Huntington only to end up squeeing when I found this:

For a mere $25, I found a wonderful orange bag.  Made by the now-defunct Baekgaard Ltd. company (a sister company to Vera Bradley that specialized in colorful leather instead of quilted calico), this leather purse is glorious.  The pink pipping detail is also wonderful.  The tassel didn't come with the bag, I purchased it, a matching ID case/wallet, and a cosmetics case for an extra $10.  I still slightly like the Melie Bianco bag a bit more, but for $65 less, this Baekgaard is the next best thing.  I was slightly afraid that it wouldn't be to pass my test for any purse--the ability to hold a bottle of water--but it did.  On top of this bag, I'm also planning on taking my colbalt blue Coach Kristin hobo, and maybe my Anthropologie Linked Hasu tote.

I'm at a bit of a loss of what to pack.  Ever since I became a landscape designer my wardrobe...lacks.  Most of my clothes are basically tshirts and jeans, which is understood in West Virginia.  But again, I don't want to look so touristy.  My nicer clothes are summer clothes, such as my white Michael Kors jeans which make my ass look ahmazing.  The weather is also going to be a bit unpredictable, currently, according to weather.com, I can look forward to the high 60s and a small chance of rain.  Therefore, I think all those cute Old Navy cardigans I bought over the winter will work nicely, as I have some great tanks to wear under them.  That, and some cute flats, and I think I'm set.  I think.

This post doesn't even begin to describe my search for the perfect luggage, originally bought the cutest set from Victoria's Secret only to find out it's too small end and then ending up getting a great set from Macy's for $70.  Or the fact I can't decide which nail polish to wear...I'm thinking the Black Pearl, with OPI's On Collins Ave. on my toes.  Argh.  I hate packing.

Ask the MFer: How to Cover Pudge

Four months into this blog, and I finally get my first email asking for help!  Yay! 

What's a good way to cover tummy "pudge?"  I'm a secretary in an office and the dress code is business casual.

Love your blog!

-BB

Thanks for reading, BB!  Just as general reminder, business casual can mean different things for different offices, so be sure to double check your office's dress code.

Basically, there are two things that I think will do the most camouflaging to stomach pudge:



I know this suggestion will be unpopular to some, but mid or high rise pants are the way to go for the maximum pudge concealment.  I don't get why West Virginian women--no matter the size--refuse to buy anything but lowrise pants.  A higher pant rise will help you keep the pudge tucked in and out of sight.  On top of the rise, look for a boot cut with a slim thigh.  You'll probably have to look a bit longer to find them, but the slimming effect can't be beat.  If you can't find them, a local tailor should be able to help you out. Also, avoid patch pockets (like those on jeans) or back flap pockets, those ruin the sleek look of the pants.  The bootcut helps balance out your middle. 

A quick list of no-no's when it comes to pudge-concealing pants:
-NO low rise
-NO patch pockets or flaps on back pockets
-NO flares (generally, leg openings over 20")
-NO skinny pants (unprofessional)
-NO tapered pants.  EVER.
-NO polyester pants.
-Go easy on stretch.  After a while  the pants won't help keep stuff tucked in.



Long shirts are amongst your best ally in the battle against pudge.  Tunics are great, like the gray one on the top left hand corner.  The belt is also a nice addition because if you tie it at the narrowest part of your waist, it makes your waist look smaller while the draping helps conceal.  I use the baseball shirt in the top middle as more of an example of a hemline to look for than as an actual top to wear (although wear it with the white pants from above and then add a belt would be a great summer look).   Shirttale hems are wonderful at hiding figure flaws, which is why I added the basic beige button down next to it.  The beige shirts is also made out of silk, while expensive, is well worth the money.  Silk lasts forever, wears like iron, and can drape and conceal like nothing else.  The pink shirt on the bottom is darling, but I think it needs a belt as well or else it leans into the "cut off mumu" look a bit too much for comfort.  I added the cardigan because even if it's 98 degrees outside with 100% humidity, your office will be a chilling 55 degrees. 

When it comes to shirts, avoid shirts that hit above your hip, as that line draws the eye right to the area you're trying to hide.  Also, avoid the boxy jackets and blazers that seem to be everywhere nowadays, as those don't do a damn thing to help you.

FAUX PAS: Saggin' and Draggin'

I've been trying to think of some additions to my Faux Pas series for a couple of weeks, but I really couldn't focus on one thing.  However, yesterday afternoon while heading to Walmart I saw something that just sang "sweet Jesus please don't step outta the house like that."

To be blunt, if you're a B cup or over and are going out in public, you need a bra.  No exceptions.  And if you're a D cup or over, underwires are needed.  No exceptions there, either. Clothes are designed with the assumption that you're going to be wearing a bra or some other sort of foundation garment.  And just because an item--usually a tank top or a camisole--has a built-in bra, doesn't mean you can just use that.  No no no.  Those built-in bras are not meant to provide support.

By not wearing a bra, or even wearing an ill-fitting bra, you miss out on such benefits of having a more trim looking figure.  Sagging breasts can also cause you to look older.

I get the comfort value of not wearing a bra, or wearing a soft cup when I need underwires (hell, I need trusses), and in your own home, not wearing a bra is fine.  But I just don't get  why women think it's okay to go braless in public.  These same women will take the time to do their hair and put on some mascara and gloss, but not a bra?

Because really, who wants to see two pancakes nailed to the wall?

BGP: New Perfumes from Actresses Kate Walsh and Jennifer Aniston

In my most recent Sephora haul, I picked out some samples for the new Kate Walsh and Jennifer Aniston perfumes.  I had heard a lot of buzz around Aniston's perfume, because it's been out for sale in Europe for some time.  I've given both of these perfumes a whirl for the past few days  and here are my reviews:



Boyfriend by Kate Walsh.  Personally, I think Kate Walsh is currently one of the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood.  I adore her red hair, and she her makeup is always impeccable.  I hadn't heard she was doing a perfume until I saw the perfume listed in an email from Sephora.  The concept of her perfume is that lingering scent of your boyfriend's cologne that you smell on his shirt or pillow.  Here's what Sephora says about Boyfriend:

She inhales his shirt, taking in the scent of the man she loves. It lingers on her clothes, her sheets, her hair—all over. Imprinted on her body and in her mind, it radiates within her, filling her with feelings of warmth and desire.

Actress Kate Walsh wanted to capture the scent of a guy on a girl: a man's cologne mixed with perfume, the smell that lingers on the skin. This fragrance evokes memories of that time after he has left for the day—when she gently awakes in a bed that's still warmly redolent of "boyfriend."

The notes for this perfume are: Dark Plum, Myrrh, Night Blooming Jasmine, Benzoin Tears (wtf?), Skin Musk, Golden Amber, and Vanilla Woods.  I smelled the plum, vanilla, jasmine, and the musk and amber.  I would describe this perfume as a soft floral with a top note of a man's cologne.  When I first read about it, I was intrigued but wondered about the scent really working as said.  I am really impressed with how well Kate Walsh really pulled this scent off.  While it is a sweet fragrance, there's enough of the amber/musk to keep it from being too florally.  Another thing I love about this scent that despite the vanilla and musk, it's still a pretty light fragrance that can be worn all year long.  While I'm really not in the market for a new perfume, I really do think I'll be buying a bottle of this soon.
Grade: A+

 

 



 

Jennifer Aniston by Jennifer Aniston.  As I had mentioned earlier, there was a lot of buzz when this perfume was recently released.  Apparently, it was a big seller in Europe, and so people who had smelled it across the Atlantic were eager to get their hands on it here in the States.  Here's what Jennifer herself has to say about her fragrance:

In the creation of her debut fragrance, Jennifer Aniston called to mind her earliest and most beloved recollections of scent. Evoking memories of sunny days at the beach and happy summer nights, this captivating composition includes light, blooming floral notes set against a sensual base of musk and woods.

"I wanted this fragrance to be a personal library of scent memories. For example, my love of night blooming jasmine has lasted a lifetime. Growing up in California, I distinctly remember the scent of jasmine on summer evenings. I consider the scent of the ocean to be one of life's most uplifting sensual experiences. No aroma is quite so purifying, humbling and exhilarating. The combination of the salty air and tropical oils reminds me of long sunny days on the beach-pure happiness."

The notes are listed as: Citrus Grove Accord, Rose Water, Jasmine, Violet, Amazon Lily, Musk, Amber, and Sandalwood.  Normally, I don't like beachy scents  because perfumers call "beachy" to me smells "soapy."  But I could actually smell "beach" in Aniston's perfume.  She really did hit her goal in making a perfume that smelled like a day on the beach.  For some reason, I also smell peach, but that might be one of the other notes in the perfume.  I like this perfume, I really do, but it also reminds me of a powdery floral scent my grandma used to wear from Avon when I was little that I wasn't crazy about.  I just squirted a bit onto a shirt I'm not wearing because I keep getting both the Boyfriend and the Aniston perfume confused.  Honestly, I think the Aniston perfume is what Boyfriend would smell like if you took out 80% of the musk and 60% of the vanilla.  The floral undernotes smell the same to me, probably the jasmine.  I like Aniston's perfume, but I wouldn't buy it. At the same time, if I was given it as a gift I wouldn't be upset either. 
Grade: B

Both scents are what I'd describe as day scents.  appropriate for the most conservative of business places and dressy events.  Both perfumes would be okay to wear to a happy hour, but I don't think either would be good for a pub crawl with the girls.  Well, maybe you could get away with the Boyfriend, but not the Aniston.

Availability: Jennifer Aniston is only available at Sephora right now, and I'm not sure about Boyfriend.  Both range in price from $20 for a rollerball to $75 for a 3.5 oz bottle.

Oh, Won't You Please See My Vest!

So I was picking up yet another load of mulch from the local Lowe's and while I was waiting to check out I noticed a woman who had attempted to wear something beyond a tshirt and jeans.  While I give her an A+ for effort and use of color, she really needed a primer on how to pull together a look.  Here's a quick look at what she was wearing:

Click on the picture for the Polyvore set

This set isn't exact what she wore, but it's very close.  The entire outfit was mostly well done in shades of navy blue with a more vibrant cobalt blue accent.  The ruffled military coat was navy blue, as was the cropped twill vest underneath.  Her shirt was cobalt blue, and a floral scarf in the two blues completed the outfit.  She wore dark jeans and some basic black flats, neither of which is really worth mentioning. 

I don't think realized it, but her outfit added 20 pounds to her frame.  Frankly, cropped vests, like capris, only look good on 6ft runway models.  If you have large breasts or stomach pudge, stay the HELL away from cropped vests.  If you're large breasted, the vest just looks like it's much too small.  If you have pudge, all a cropped vest does is aim attention directly at your figure flaw.  It's much like painting a giant target on your gut.  But the vest itself isn't what caused the illusion of weight gain, it was the vest, with the jacket and scarf all together.  All of the attention is drawn to a very small portion of your body, and it causes the eye to see depth which in turn adds imaginary pounds.  This is why I heavily advise the plus sized ladies of my general reading audience to go easy on layering. 

The jacket and the scarf were both very solid picks, and showed more effort to create a look than I've seen in the past few weeks.  Without the vest, the outfit would have been a home run in my book.  The military look is current, and the ruffles on the jacket and the floral scarf soften the straight military lines. 

 

Are you into vests? Here are some things to look for:

From left to right:
1. There isn't much that makes this vest different from the sartorial offender mentioned above other than its length. By hitting at the hip, it covers pudge instead of aiming attention at it. 
2. Yes, this is a cropped vest.  However, it doesn't meet in the middle.  It instead draws the eyes up and down, making you appear thinner and taller.  Wear with dark pants/skirts to get the maximum slimming effect. 
3.  There are enough details on this lace vest to keep attention away from your middle.  Deep V necks look good on large breasted women, and the vest hits at the hip, covering your middle.  Wear this with a scoop neck tank and a long necklace for a casual yet romantic date night look.
4. This leopard print vest works because the beading at the shoulders draws the eye up, and the jersey drapes help conceal your midsection. 

I hope this answers all questions on vests, because, honestly, I hope to never write about vests again.*


*I tragically wore many a vest in middle school.  This was right after the movie Clueless came out, and vests were hot.  As I look back at my middle pictures, no, vests were not hot.